help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
wanna go halves on a baby?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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