I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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