your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
