there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
