She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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