you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
