Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
