Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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