Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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