You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
