New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
