What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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