Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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