just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
