i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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