sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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