Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
