Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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