bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize