At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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