Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He's on the porch naked. Help.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
