1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
