brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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