She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
