Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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