dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She told me I should be a condom model.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
