the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
