ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
