it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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