I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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