just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
