help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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