Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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