I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just pynch a tree in the face
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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