I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Are these your boobs on my camera?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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