I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
