If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Randomize
