this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
