we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Randomize
