I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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