whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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