did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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