I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Do vagina's smell?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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