I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
