I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
