I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
