No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
