Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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