: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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