K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
