We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
