It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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