You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
