your thong is hanging out like whoa
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
