P.S. I can't hear my feet
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
