i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
