Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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