just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
