dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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